Suddenly it all makes sense. I know what it feels like to believe with all of one's being that someone is good for you. Slowly I've seen all my guards crumble around me. The barriers I'd built up to protect myself against what I used to think were stupid mistakes that people make in the name of love.
Well now here I am. Stupidly in love. M'abo dam! I can almost remember every time I'd advised people against long-distance relationships. Or thought about other people's long-distance relationships silently.. "It cant possibly work..."
But here I am. Crazy in love. A fa me t'rim! Modern day Saul/Paul? Maybe not. I'm not all of a sudden going to start preaching to everyone on why loving someone from across the Channel is the new black. It should take a lot of effort but she makes it almost effortless for me.
Tomorrow makes it four months since I met her. We broke up even before we had what we have now because "We were trying to be good". We saw where it was going and those were the beginnings of a failed non-relationship. It was weird. It felt like someone had been fed "insider information" on everything that I wanted plus everything that I desired but didn't know. "Trying to be good" didn't work.
She's been my girlfriend for 13 days but we've shared memories going back almost two decades and made some in 4 months worth a lifetime. I'm happy. Don't take my word for it. You should see me. I'm floating... or "falling up" as she calls it.
Those that read between the lines should be able to tell that I didn't get here though without making sacrifices. I had to make decisions that challenged how how much of a good character I thought I was. For that, I'm sorry. But for now I'm high. I've moved on from that because happy is better than paranoid and vindictive, and feeling loved is certainly much more better than just being.
Other titles considered for this entry:
I'm high.
A lifetime cynic turns into the world's most hopeless romantic.
Mr Rational fills in vacant position at Kitsch Kitchen.
I believe.
Author: Remi
Date/Time: August 17, 2006 12:26 AM
Email: remi101@gmail.com
URL: http://www.cafe151.co.uk/notebook/
Keeping floating high man. Keep the foundation tight as well. Anyway how was the game. I know I flopped. Got ill you know.
Hey faf, this sounds really interesting. Is it for real or a fantasy. If it for real stop being ambigous and come up with all the juicy details. And oh, we'll love to see a pic of her...
Touching...
I am smitten....
Wha? Damn, I missed something, didn't I?
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